“Mutually Encouraged”

Romans 1:1-7

Sunday, May 6, 2023

Sermon by the Rev. Caela Simmons Wood

The Rev. Dr. Barbara Brown Taylor tells a powerful story about the death of her father. When he suffered a small seizure caused by his advanced brain cancer, Taylor and her mother called an ambulance. As the family gathered at the hospital, the scene unfolds the way so many of these vigils do. 

Taylor writes, “one or the other of us would get up and go to my father, standing over him so the harsh examining room light did not shine straight into his eyes. One of us would kiss him all over his forehead. He was dazed from the seizure, but he knew who we were.”

After a time, Taylor’s husband, Ed, made his way over to her father. As she watched, her husband knelt down on the floor by his father-in-law’s bed and slid his hand underneath the weak man’s hand. Her father’s lips moved. Ed stood up and said one last thing in her father’s ear and then walked back over to Taylor. 

“What was that?” she asked, when he sat down beside her. “I asked him to bless me,” Ed said. “I asked him to give me his blessing.”

Faced with the loss of this man he had long admired, the man who had helped create and raise the woman who became the love of his life, Ed wanted one thing before his father-in-law died: his blessing.

You might think – “Well, that’s selfish. Why would you bother a dying man by asking him to do something for you?” But I would argue that the beauty of a blessing is that it’s a positive thing for everyone involved. A blessing – given or received – is a precious gift. 

It blesses the recipient, of course. But it is also a holy and sacred gift to be the blessER. That moment they shared in that hospital room blessed them both. 

A blessing is a moment of mutual encouragement, which is exactly what we just heard about in the reading from Romans. Romans, like many of the other books in the Second Testament, was originally not meant to be scripture at all, but simply a letter between friends. Or, in the case of Romans, between strangers. Paul had not yet been to Rome. So he writes them this letter as a way of introduction. In today’s reading, which is the very beginning of the letter, we hear Paul’s words of encouragement and his enthusiasm as he looks forward to visiting them one day soon. 

Paul writes, “For I am longing to see you so that I may share with you some spiritual gift to strengthen you— or rather so that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine”

It is this desire for mutual encouragement that has me thinking about blessing and the unique gift it can be in our lives. 

Being blessed is, quite possibly, one of the purest sensations of goodness you can have in the world. I’m not talking about a compliment. I’m not talking about praise. I’m not talking about a good performance evaluation at work or an A+ on a paper. I’m talking about a blessing.

A blessing is spoken or a gesture or some combination of the two. A blessing is a pause in a hectic world. A blessing is a moment of connection between two people and the Divine that is within and surrounding them. 

A blessing is the recognition that the recipient is good. Not in the sense that they did something right, but in the sense that all of creation is good because it simply exists. God created it and therefore, it is good. Remember the story from Genesis? God looked at creation and saw it was good. All of it. Blessing is about the recognition of the holy. The verbalization of that spark of divinity that exists in all of us. 

But we spend so much of our lives being told we’re bad. Just listen to the parent with the preschooler standing in line at Dillons next time you’re there. Just listen to the grown child speaking impatiently to their elderly parent as decisions are made about the future. Just listen to the teenager complaining loudly about her body as she tries on a swimsuit at Target. 

Just listen to the voice in your own head throughout the day.

It’s easy to find people telling us we’re bad.

And it’s also pretty easy to find people telling us we’re good in a conditional way. When we nail a big project at work. When we fold the laundry and vacuum the floor before sitting down to rest. When we buy a new outfit or get a new haircut. 

Sure, it feels good to be recognized and given praise when you’ve done something right. But praise is really just the flip side of criticism. It signals that the love being given is conditional. If someone tells you you look beautiful because you’ve lost 25 pounds, you might wonder what they thought of you before you lost them. Just ask anyone with an eating disorder how dangerous praise can be.

Do you know what feels better than being praised? Being told that you are inherently good, loved unconditionally beyond measure…just for existing. Being told that, no matter how little money you make, no matter how many times you let your addiction get the best of you, no matter how many mean things you’ve said and wish you could unsay – you are still blessed. 

Barbara Brown Taylor says that blessing is something anyone can do. “Anyone can ask and anyone can bless, whether anyone has authorized you to do it or not. All I am saying is that the world needs you to do this, because there is a real shortage of people willing to kneel wherever they are and recognize holiness.”

Blessing seems to be something that we usually rely on professionals to do. Like Taylor, I’ve been paid to offer blessings at weddings, funerals, baptisms, at the bedside in the hospital, and many other places. I count myself lucky when I remember one of the things I get to do for a living is offer blessings. 

But clergy aren’t the only ones who are called to give this gift. Any and all of us who are trying to be the living spirit of Christ should be offering blessings each and every day. When was the last time you took a moment to look someone in the eyes and say, “God’s peace be with you”? When did you last tell a child, “God loves you”? Or tell a grieving widower, “May the grace and holy love of God surround you in this difficult time”?

If you’ve ever done it, you can probably help me attest to the power that blessing holds for the blessER as well as the blessEE. 

Something about taking on this yoke makes you remember how important we are to one another. Something about being audacious enough to bless the other makes you recognize the holiness in yourself, reaching out to the holiness in the other. Something about feeling the Spirit of God channeling through your words and your hands helps you recall you were made for more than just sending e-mails, washing clothes, driving a car, running to the store. 

You were made to be a blessing. You were made to be blessed.

I realize that getting into the swing of offering blessings might not be easy. It feels awkward to do this, especially if you’ve never done it before. Start small. Barbara Brown Taylor even suggests blessing a stick, if you’re particularly nervous. 

“Bless you, stick, for being you.”

“Blessed are you, a stick, for turning dirt and sun into wood.”

“Blessed are you, Lord God, for using this stick to stop me in my tracks.”

Babies and animals are other great starters, if you’re nervous. “Bless you, sweet child, for bringing the light of Christ into the world.” “God’s blessing on you, loyal pet, for your furriness and drool.”

The passing of the peace in our weekly worship service is another great way to practice. That’s why we’re encouraged to offer an actual BLESSING when we pass the peace: “May the peace of Christ be with you,” -  rather than just saying “hello” or “good morning.”

Once you get more comfortable, you can move on to the harder stuff. Maybe someday you’ll find yourself waiting for someone to die, unsure of what it is you could do in that moment. Maybe you’ll find yourself kneeling down at the side of their bed and asking for a blessing. Or giving one. 

This simple spiritual practice of blessing is one of the more certain pathways to mutual encouragement I know of. 

May you bless and be blessed with reckless abandon.