"Complaints Allowed"

Exodus 17:1-7

Sunday, September 28, 2014

First Congregational United Church of Christ – Sermon by Rev. Caela Simmons Wood

You know how sometimes people have funny signs in their offices or stores? I am thinking of one in particular that you may have seen before. It says something like, “Complaint Department” at the top and then “Take a number” with the number on a little tag…attached to a grenade.

We are not, by and large, a society that values complaining. We hate whining. We really don’t like it when people gripe. We spend a lot of time telling people to suck it up and simmer down.

One of the things that I am privileged to do as a pastor is sit with people during some difficult times. There is always a box of Kleenex in my office because tears often flow there. I have spent time with people who were dying and in pain and said to me, “I’m sorry to complain.” I have been with people who were being abused by their partner and said, “I don’t mean to whine about this.”

Friends, can we get real here for a minute? Can we be in agreement that sometimes it’s okay to complain? We are, all of us, broken and breaking on any given day. We struggle with self-loathing, mental and physical health, our addictions, our anger, our finances, unhealthy relationships, injustice. There are times when it is okay to complain a bit.

Now, I know that you know that the Israelites complained. Everyone knows that. They’ve gotten quite the reputation over the centuries for whining during their wanderings.

But do you know what’s weird? I’m not really sure how they got this reputation as bunch of whiners.

Well, I have a couple of hunches. One is that we, as Christians, typically like to feel really good about ourselves. One of the ways we’ve done this over the years is by comparing ourselves with other groups of people, including historical groups, and saying that we’re better than them. We’ve always enjoyed picking on folks in the Hebrew Scriptures because it makes us feel better about ourselves. I think our portrayal of the Israelites as a bunch of whiners may come from this.

It also stems from the fact that we have a couple of different accounts of the wandering Israelites in the Bible. In the book of Numbers, to be sure, the Israelites gripe a lot. And when they do, it really gets on God’s nerves. Every time they grumble, God’s “anger is kindled against them.” It ain’t pretty.

But in the book of Exodus, where we are today, we don’t see any of this. The word used in Exodus for complaining is “luwn” and it means to dwell, to begrudge, to tarry. So I think it’s complaining in the sense of being mindful of something. When you get that little nagging anxiety, that feeling of worry that just won’t go away, that’s luwn.  This word only comes up five times in Exodus. Five times they complained to Moses about their situation.

Let’s remember their situation for a moment: this is a group of people who had been enslaved under harsh conditions for generations. One day, some stranger shows up and convinces them that God wants to free them. After watching a series of bizarre events and fearing for their lives, they pack up hastily, under cover of darkness, and set out from the only home they’ve ever known, on foot. They don’t know where they’re going. They don’t know much about the guy that’s leading them. They get backed up against a big body of water and the army is breathing down their necks. They manage to escape, just barely, and emerge on the other side, still uncertain about where they’re headed. They are hungry. They are tired. They are thirsty. Seriously thirsty.

They begin to reconsider their decision to follow Moses. Sure, it was no picnic living in Egypt, but at least they had three squares a day and water to drink.

You tell me you wouldn’t complain if you were in their shoes.

They complained, yes. And they should have. They were dealt a raw deal. They were hungry. It’s okay to complain if you’re hungry. They were thirsty. It’s okay to complain if you’re thirsty.

I would argue that we have to be carefully taught not to complain. As infants, it comes to us naturally. When we are thirsty, when we are hungry, when we are tired – we complain. We do it the only way we know how: we cry and whimper and scream.

I remember the shock I felt, as I became a mother, about the range of emotions that I felt when I heard my child cry. As a new parent, I quickly discovered my child cried because he was trying to communicate something to me. A need. Sometimes I could figure it out quickly and remedy the situation. Other times I was baffled and frustrated. But I always understood, instinctively, that crying was simply something he needed to do.

I later discovered that toddlers are pretty good at complaining, too. No one taught them to do this. They did it naturally. Instinctively. They knew how to complain and were not yet embarrassed to do so.

Over time children learn to curb their complaints. They discover that if they complain all the time, about every little thing, people won’t listen to them. They learn that if they choose their battles wisely, complain respectfully and to the right people, their complaints may make positive changes in the world around them.

If my children are every truly hungry, I hope they will complain. If my children are ever truly is thirsty, I hope they will complain. If an injustice is done to them or to someone else, I hope they will complain. Loudly. Respectfully. Persuasively. And to the right people.

When the Israelites complain in the wilderness, they aren’t just being a bunch of whiners. They are doing what they were made to do – sound the alarm when something isn’t right. They are hungry so they complain to the person they believe can get something done. But when they go to their leader he reminds them he’s not the one in charge. He reminds them that it was God’s idea to lead them into the wilderness and God will be the one to lead them safely from it.

And here’s the best thing about God: God listens and responds.

God is not an impatient father who has spent too many hours alone with a toddler and just brushes the child off, saying, “I’m tired of your whining!” Nor is God an inexperienced first-time mother, unsure of how to respond to her infant’s cries.

God is the exact kind of parent I think we would all want. God listens. God does not chastise them for complaining. Did you notice that? Moses gets frustrated about their whining, but God doesn’t even mention it. Instead, God responds with loving words and deeds.

When the Israelites first cross over the sea, they come to a place where the water is bitter and undrinkable. And so they complain to Moses. Moses cries out to God and God tells Moses to throw some wood into the water. Suddenly, the water is sweet.

When they are wandering in the desert and hungry, they complain to Moses. This time, Moses doesn’t even have to ask. God just shows up and steps in. Quail and manna appear.

And in today’s passage, they are, once again, thirsty. They complain to Moses. And Moses, once again, raises his voice to God in exasperation, “What on earth am I supposed to do with these people?” God calmly, patiently, lovingly steps in. The people are given water to quench their thirst.

In each of these situations, God provided an opportunity for them to not only be fed, in a physical way, but to have their understanding of the Holy expanded. God is the one who not only responds to our complaints, but pushes us outside of our comfort zone and encourages us to seek solutions in new and strange ways. Throwing wood into some water? Odd. Gathering manna from the ground? Odd. Striking a rock with a stick? Odd. But that’s just how God works. In surprising ways.

Now, you may be sitting there thinking, “Well, this is all fine and dandy, but I have a feeling that I’m going to do more than just complain to God before seeing results.”

I wouldn’t argue with you. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, God is not a gumball machine. You don’t put in a quarter and out pops a piece of candy. If God worked that way, every child would have a pony and a warm bed to sleep in at night.

But here’s what I do think is true: the purpose of this story is not to prove to us that God can fix everything. The purpose of this story is to help us remember that God can handle all our complaints. When we are faced with incredibly difficult situations, you can complain to God because God wants to hear it.

And I’m going to go out on a limb and say this: we, as a church, want to hear it, too.

Don’t ever feel like you have to put on your prettiest face before you come into this place. Bring your truest self here. If you are hurting, angry, hopeless, hungry, tired, thirsty, aching….bring those burdens here. Tell them to God in this time.

And we, your church family, will do our best to listen, too. This doesn’t mean this will be a place where we strive to be a bunch of whiners…but it does mean that if you’re dealing with some hard stuff in your life right now, we want to know about it. We want to be with you, listen, and try to see what we can do to help.

It is not easy work to emulate God and listen to complaints, but it is holy work. Chances are good that we may not be able to fix everything that ails you. God may not be able to fix it, either.

But I am reminded of a few sleepless nights when our boys were small babies and going through some difficulty – perhaps they were sick, or getting teeth, or having a growth spurt. In those loud and chaotic moments of holding my child, I was frustrated that I couldn’t fix things for him. But I was also deeply moved to know that he felt my love and believed that he could complain loudly to me.

I was honored to just hold him and know that, at the very least, I could be present. Those are moments I will never forget.

If we don’t complain when we are truly going through some major difficulties – if we refuse to allow our true broken and beautiful selves to be seen – we rob God and our friends the opportunity of holding us. And that would be a shame.

Let this be a place where complaints are allowed. Let us bring our full selves to this place, trusting that God is still willing to listen to our complaints.